For Love Of A Feather
by RubyChan05
Summary: In Seresu, one man cries for his dead queen, and shuts himself away from the world. But a chance discovery of a feather might change all that...for better or worse. Fai's origins are finally revealed! AshuraxFai
1. Prologue

**Introduction**

In an ancient ruin in Clow, the feathers of one girl fly away, slipping through thousands of dimensions, unaffected by time or space. Some fall into the hands of evil; others accidentally manipulate the weak hearted into becoming evil themselves. Only one escapes this fate.

In an icy palace in Seresu, one king cries for the loss of his queen and unborn son, his advisors unable to comfort him. But when destiny steps in, it looks like all is not quite lost. A chance walk on a balcony will start a chain of events that no one had ever dreamed of…but when magic and mortality mix, can there ever be a happy ending?

**_For love of a feather, one man's heart will die…_**

* * *

**Prologue**

"No! Bring them back! They cannot be dead! _I forbid you to let them die_!" An anguished scream echoes through the silent halls of an icy palace, servants and visiting nobles alike turning their heads to the side at the sound, their expressions pained and full of grief.

"My king, I can do nothing…they've already passed on…" Another voice, quieter but choked with a similar sorrow, speaks, and all is suddenly still, the only sound the grief-stricken sobs of an inconsolable king. The doors to the room slide open before being carefully shut once more, the doctor unable to do anymore for his patients except leave the sole survivor in peace.

There is the sound of smashing glass as a priceless statuette is thrown savagely after the retreating doctor, before the culprit sinks slowly to his knees beside the bed, weeping bitterly over the loss of his queen and unborn child, both lost to him through childbirth. With silent whimpers of agony, he lifts his hand to gently caress her pale cheek, the skin remaining unmoving underneath his fingertips, the rosy warmth held in life long evaporated into the night.

Moving to lie next to his love's motionless form, the young royal fixes dark eyes on her still rounded belly, seeing with his magic the small, still body that lies within, knowing that this child never even had the chance to breathe for the first time, lost before it could make its bid for freedom. It will still be inside of her when they burn her body, the pair's ashes mixing as they are released into the Whirlpool Of Memories. The king lets out another shuddering sob, unable to imagine his life without his queen, unable to find the strength of will to go on.

He is only 23.

Rolling onto his back, Ashura shows the world eyes that are dulled from grief, his blank gaze focused unseeingly on the same crystal ceiling that his wife loved so much. He doesn't move again.

* * *

At the same time, in another world, another dimension, a girl's feathers fly from her, escaping through the boundaries of time and space to flee to different worlds, leaving their brothers and sisters behind in their own bid for freedom. The only thing binding them together as one heart is the mark of the Suzaku, forever symbolising that they are one of many, yet all of one girl.

As its siblings fall prey to the ambitions of mankind's cruelty, one feather continues on with its journey, passing through thousands of worlds to arrive in one of ice and snow. Its magic temporarily spent, it drops, only to spin lazily upwards once more as it is caught by the wind, spiralling towards an ornate city in the sky.

Shooting by the crystalline wings that are curved around the highest turrets of a gleaming white palace, the feather is caught in a small crevice, trapped by the elaborate design of a balcony, unknowing of the sorrow felt by all that exist behind the gleaming windows of such a lavish dwelling.

All it can feel is the grief of one man.

And all it can do is grieve with him.

* * *

**_Author's Note

* * *

_**

Sorry it's short...but hey, it's the prologue! And to everyone who's been reading my KuroFai series...told you I'd do it! If you haven't...go read it! This fic'san expanded version ofone of my oneshots!If you can find the time to review, I'd be very happy! 


	2. Discovery

**Introduction**

In an ancient ruin in Clow, the feathers of one girl fly away, slipping through thousands of dimensions, unaffected by time or space. Some fall into the hands of evil; others accidentally manipulate the weak hearted into becoming evil themselves. Only one escapes this fate.

In an icy palace in Seresu, one king cries for the loss of his queen and unborn son, his advisors unable to comfort him. But when destiny steps in, it looks like all is not quite lost. A chance walk on a balcony will start a chain of events that no one had ever dreamed of…but when magic and mortality mix, can there ever be a happy ending?

**_For love of a feather, one man's heart will die…_**

* * *

**Chapter One; Discovery**

King Ashura gazed through the crystalline glass of his balcony door, watching the sunrise with blank eyes. It had been a week since he had lost them…five more days and the cremation ceremony would be held, his wife's body burnt and the ashes of her and their unborn son scattered into the Whirlpool Of Memories, the traditional resting place for all Seresuan monarchs.

At such a delicate time, he knew that there were thousands of things to be taken care of, and a million more to start considering, but he found himself lacking the motivation to take any action, preferring just to wallow in his grief and remember happier times.

Ashura knew that his councillors spoke of his condition in hushed tones, whispering to each other of how he was descending into madness, departing their world for the realm of the insane – he didn't care. Let them think whatever they wanted of him…they would be unable to do anything about it, after all. Ancient Seresuan law stated that only one of royal blood with the ancient lineage of their ancestors could sit on the throne and call themselves King/Queen. And with the death of his queen and heir, there were no others who could take his place.

So he just stared through his door, watching the golden rays of sunlight creeping over his floating city, lightening the grey stone walls of the dwellings below. Feeling the sudden urge to see the rest of his kingdom, he pushed the doors open and strode out onto his balcony, a momentary flash of desperation flooding through his body. The feeling fading, his legs gave out and he collapsed to the floor, resting his forehead against the balcony railing and gazing out through the decorative gaps at the land below.

_>Do the commoners feel this pain, this sense of being trapped?>_ He wondered, eyes drinking in the sight of the forests and towns of the land below.

_>Those who live below us, away from the capital…those who live slower, rustic lives…do they ever feel such things as grief and loneliness? Down there, everyone supports each other…up here, the dangerous game of politics prevent us from ever truly having comrades we can rely on. The only one I was ever able to trust with my entire being was my wife, and now she's gone…do the commoners even know what it feels like to be alone?>_

Sometimes, Ashura found himself wishing that he'd been born a commoner, not the prince and Royal Heir. Below the floating capital, in the golden fields below, he was sure that he would have found a much happier life for himself. Down there, there would have been no assassination attempts to startle his wife into premature labour…just a small, comfortable cottage with his wife resting on a bed, waiting for him to return from the fields.

A sob escaping him, Ashura suddenly found himself curling his right hand into a fist and beating it against the wall, his grief overwhelming him. He continued doing so until he ran out of energy, his bruised hand dropping into his lap, the red scrapes standing out clearly from his pale skin.

A sudden movement caught his attention, and Ashura turned his head to see what the pink flash he'd seen from the corner of his eyes had been, blinking in surprise as he saw a single pink feather drifting towards him, dislodged from its prison by Ashura's passionate outburst and carried by the slight dawn breeze.

Trembling, Ashura reached out and caught it, carefully trapping the delicate object in his hand. He was no fool – he could sense the powerful magic pulsing inside of his discovery, and he knew of its potential. Combined with his own magic, this feather could surely accomplish the one thing he wanted most in the world, the one dream that he had hardly dared to hope for.

_It could bring back his wife_.

Staggering to his feet, Ashura hurried back into his chambers, slamming the balcony door behind him lest a sudden stray wind steal his prize. Moving to his bookshelf he swept his eyes over his large collection of magical tomes before using his magic to send out a call to his servants, hearing the sound of their running feet only moments later as they rushed to serve him.

"Your Majesty called?" One boy panted, relieved that his king had finally ventured out of his mourning to summon them. However, he couldn't help being slightly unnerved as Ashura spun to face him, the king's pale cheeks flushed in excitement and an almost feverish glint in his eye.

"Yes…yes I did! Fetch my wife's coffin and bring it down to the Ceremonial Hall, as quickly as you can! And help me carry my books there!" He ordered quickly, gesturing for the nearest servants to begin transporting the volumes.

"Your Majesty! I…her coffin? I was under the impression that the cremation was not to be held until next week!" The servant gasped, his face paling. Ashura just grinned at him, a laugh that seemed to border on an insane cackle escaping his throat.

"There will be _no_ cremation ceremony, Nathaniel! Today will mark my queen's return into this world, and there will be no lifeless body left to burn – mark my words!" He declared, sweeping out of the room, feather in hand.

Nathaniel stared after him with wide, frightened eyes, before glancing at his fellow servants and indicating for them to start moving.

"Come on then! Our king gave us our orders, and we'll follow them! Ayame, Mayuko, Sachiko! Help the others with Ashura-ou's books! The rest of you, follow me down to the Room of Rest!"

Seeing that there was still no movement, Nathaniel clapped his hands sharply, startling them all into action.

"Well what are you waiting for! Get moving!" He ordered, watching as they scrambled to do as they were told.

_>Our king has finally gone insane_.>

* * *

Seating himself in the centre of the large star that formed the main feature of the mosaic floor, Ashura worked feverishly, quickly arranging his books in a circle around him, each tome open to the correct page that he would need in order to complete his summoning. Beside him, the feather danced in the slight breeze caused by his movements, restrained from drifting away entirely by a red thread circled round its shaft and leading back to where it was tied to Ashura's little finger. 

A sudden thumping sound caught his attention, and Ashura glanced up to see his wife's coffin lying at the bottom of the stairs, the servants staring anxiously down at it from the doorway, nervously searching for any damage caused by the fall. Ashura just waved them away, a flick of his hand levitating the magnificent jewel encrusted structure and moving it to the other end of the room, onto an altar he had set up in the miniature shrine.

Although he would have preferred for the coffin to have been handled with more care on its journey down to the Hall, Ashura realised that it would have been unavoidable whatever the circumstances – traditionally, only people with magic were allowed to set foot in the Ceremonial Hall, and it was a well known legend that one of Seresu's first kings had cast a spell preventing others from disregarding the rule…rumour had it that those without magic who dared to break the rule were burnt to death the moment they set foot inside, although there was no proof of the fact.

Consequently, Ashura had been forced to use his own power to transport his equipment inside the Hall, something that he had been reluctant to do since every levitation spell he performed was a drain on the spring of magic he had available to use in such an important ceremony.

Glancing around the hall, Ashura smiled as he saw that all was in place, and clasped his hands together in a final use of his power before the ritual, muttering strange words under his breath. As he spoke, shining wards suddenly appeared at the doors and windows, preventing anyone that wished to interfere from entering and interrupting. He knew fully well that his servants would have told the High Wizard and the rest of his court of his plan by now, and that Mahouda would be coming to put a stop to his attempts at resurrecting his wife, lest he put himself in danger.

But the wards would be powerful enough to stop Mahouda gaining entrance into the Hall until the ceremony was over.

Beginning to chant in earnest now, Ashura raised his arms to the pictures of the gods that were engraved onto the ceiling, calling for their blessing and help in his magic. Feeling the telltale wind that came from strong magic beginning to billow round him, he snapped the thread tying the feather to him, watching as it spun upwards, caught by the magic beginning to build.

"Answer my prayer, Zhiva…I summon thee to this Hall to do my bidding, to follow my will. Bring back my wife and unborn child…yield to me and reverse the actions of Veles…I call on you, under the watchful eye of Mokosh to respond and grant me my desire…"

Ashura chanted, dark eyes fluttering closed in concentration as he focused his mind on the old Seresuan gods, feeling the wind around him pick up as he continued on with his ritual. Above him, the feather was buffeted about by the wind, glowing every once in a while as Ashura drew power from it, spiralling frantically as it was assaulted by magic on all sides.

"Answer my prayer Chimata-No-Kami…guide their souls back from the realms of the dead and bring them safely to me…for the sake of Izanagi and Izanami, restore those who have been lost to me…I call on you with Benzaiten's blessing to restore the life of my beloved wife…I call on you with Ama-No-Uzume's blessing to give my son a chance to live…"

Furrowing his brow, Ashura felt sweat beginning to trickle from his forehead as he was pushed to the limits of his magical capability, the backlash from calling on so many gods and goddesses at once almost more than he could take. As he drew heavily on the power of the feather in order to keep going, the delicate object pulsed erratically, a blur as it was thrown about by the rising storm that was rapidly forming inside of the Hall.

Hearing voices behind him, Ashura chanced a look at the main entrance, only to see Mahouda and the other wizards staring desperately at him, throwing attack after attack at his wards in a panicked attempt to get to their king and pull him to safety. Gritting his teeth, Ashura turned back towards his wife's coffin, feeling a small shred of hope as the structure shifted, beginning to glow with an otherworldly light.

Clearing his throat, Ashura launched into the final part of the ritual, throwing everything he had left into the force of his will, breath coming in short, sharp pants that burned their way down his throat as the strain began to get too much for him.

"By the might of the four seasons; I call on the power of the East, Seiryu! The power of the West, Byakko! The power of the North, Genbu! The power of the Sou…"

A sudden creaking noise caught his attention, and Ashura glanced up to see one of the great pillars, knocked off balance by the storm, crashing down towards him. Dark eyes wide, he sprang to his feet and ran to safety, taking care to keep his hands in the correct position and the rites clear in his mind.

Behind the wards, his wizards fought desperately to get through, unable to do anything except watch helplessly as the pillars began to collapse one by one, followed by pieces of ceiling in some places. The ritual had been too much – the Ceremonial Hall was coming down.

Screeching to a stop, Ashura focused himself on his queen's coffin again, pouring his entire being back into the ceremony now that the immediate danger had passed, blocking out the sounds of falling rubble.

"The power of the S…gaaah!" Yet again his incantation was cut off, this time by the strong gust of wind that slammed into him hard, knocking him to the floor. Caught up in its power, Ashura could only cry out as he was slid backwards into the one pillar that remained standing, his head making contact against the smooth marble with a sickening crack.

Slumping sideways, Ashura watched with hazy vision as the coffin's light faded and the wind began to die down, his spell slowly dissipating away as he lost consciousness. Glancing wearily upwards, he saw the feather's glow vanish as it fluttered down to land on his chest, resting over his heart. His eyes closing, Ashura coughed weakly, his final attempt to finish what he had started slipping almost silently past his lips.

"By the power of the South, _Suzaku_…"

Slipping into merciful darkness, Ashura didn't see the pillar beside him beginning to topple, or that area of ceiling finally collapsing. Nor did he see the frantic wizards as they rushed towards him, past his failed wards, in an impossible attempt to save their king.

No one saw how the feather responded to Ashura's final words, shining brighter and brighter, until a curved shield of pink light spread over the fallen king.

And then the Hall came crashing down.

* * *

**_Author's Note_**

* * *

Heh...did anyone notice the bit about the feather being tied to Ashura's pinkie with red thread? For anyone who doesn't know, it's a Japanese myth that when two people are destined for each other, they're tied together with a red thread attached to their pinkies. I couldn't help myself! 

Oh, and if anyone got confused by all of the gods Ashura was calling on, I used a mixture of gods/goddesses from the cultures I thought suited Seresu best; The pagan gods of Russia,The Japanese gods, and the four guardians of Kyoto and China. See below for what they actually symbolise. Read and review please!

**Zhiva **- Chief goddess of the WesternSlavs, the goddess of life vigour. (_Therefore the perfectRussian goddess to give back Ashura's wife's life_)

**Mokosh** - The slavic pagan goddess who gives and takes life, the spinner of the Thread of Life. AKA The Fate (_If you don't get this, it's hopeless_)

**Veles **- The slavic pagan god of death and the underworld. (_This is the god Ashura wants to 'reverse the actions' of_)

**Chimata-No-Kami** - Japanese god of crossroads and footpaths. (_Not really connected to death, but I'm bending the rules to make him guide lost spirits through the crossroads of death to get to Heaven_)

**Izanagi **- The creator god of Japan, married to Izanami. He failed in his attempts to save his wife, who died in childbirth. (_Sound familiar? This is Ashura all over_)

**Izanami** - The Japanese goddess who could give birth to anything, the creator goddess who created Japan. She died in childbirth giving birth to the god of fire. Even though Izanagai went down into the Underworld, he failed to bring her back. (_Again, really connected to Ashura's story - he prays that for their sakes this time a wife will be saved_)

**Benzaiten** - The Japanese goddess of love. (_If you don't get this reference, I pity you. Of course he loved his wife._)

**Ama-No-Uzume** - Japanese fertility goddess. (_Ashura wants her to give his son a chance to live_.)

**Seiryu **- Blue dragon of the East, associated with Spring, wood, conflict and wedded bliss. (_To be honest, I only put him in so I could have Suzaku_)

**Byakko** - White tiger of the West, associated with Autumn, metal, righteousness and clairvoyance. (_Again, just added for Suzaku_)

**Genbu** - Snake/Turtle/Tortoise of the North, associated with Winter, water, long life and happiness (_Just added for Suzaku, but he fits the bill too_)

**Suzaku** - Phoenix of the South, associated with Summer, fire, knowledge and conflict/wedded bliss (_Because for me, no matter the fic or pairing, Fai's markings will always be the markings of the Suzaku_)

* * *

Thanks to hentai-monkey who was my sole reviewer! God bless ya! Shame on you, everyone else who wanted me to write this fic! But if you review this one, I'll forgive you! (Wink) 


	3. Realisations

**Introduction**

In an ancient ruin in Clow, the feathers of one girl fly away, slipping through thousands of dimensions, unaffected by time or space. Some fall into the hands of evil; others accidentally manipulate the weak hearted into becoming evil themselves. Only one escapes this fate.

In an icy palace in Seresu, one king cries for the loss of his queen and unborn son, his advisors unable to comfort him. But when destiny steps in, it looks like all is not quite lost.A chance walk on a balcony will start a chain of events that no one had ever dreamed of…but when magic and mortality mix, can there ever be a happy ending?

**_For love of a feather, one man's heart will die…_**

* * *

**Chapter Two; Realisations**

Ashura's eyes flickered open, dark gaze taking in the familiar décor of his bedroom. Wrapping an arm round his midriff, he sat up with a small groan, wincing as his body protested at the slight movement.

"Ashura-ou! You're awake!" Blinking, Ashura turned his head towards the noise of the sudden sound. He hadn't noticed the young man sitting beside his bed…if memory served him right, he was one of the wizards that served under Mahouda, although Ashura couldn't remember ever speaking to him before.

"Yes…but I don't understand…what happened? The last thing I remember is being blown back by that wind…" He murmured. The wizard nodded seriously, his eyes serious as he explained everything to his king.

"The magic was too strong for the Hall to contain…it ended up crashing down around us. The roof caved in above you, and we were afraid that you had died…but Mahouda-sama still sensed your life force, so we dug down through the rubble. The gods were smiling on you, Ashura-ou…apart from a few minor injuries obtained before, you were unharmed by the roof collapse. The Hall's being rebuilt even as we speak – it may have only been four days, but it's nearly complete already!"

Ashura frowned, eyes searching the other man's face for any signs of falsehood. Finding none, he simply blinked quizzically at his companion in confusion.

"Four days? But you said I had only minor injuries…"

"Mahouda-sama thought it best that you were allowed time to rest and recuperate, so he cast a minor sleeping spell on you. Forgive him, Ashura-ou, he was merely worried about your health." The wizard pleaded.

Ashura smiled softly, tilting his head back to gaze at the crystalline designs etched into the ceiling.

"I suppose so…I can forgive him this once for such an action." He sighed.

"Forgive me? It is you who should be seeking forgiveness, my king, on bended knee! Do you have any idea how worried the castle's been about you?"

Both men looked up at the booming voice that had suddenly infiltrated the relative quiet of the king's chamber. Ashura smiled and shook his head as he recognised the well-built man striding through the door, golden staff, as ever, in hand.

"You forget your place, Mahouda. You may be the High Wizard, but you're still inferior to me." He sniped, although his lips twitched mischievously despite himself. Mahouda merely raised an eyebrow.

"I've been doing this job since before you were born! As the one who had to suffer through years of teaching you magic, I think I deserve a bit more respect, Ashura-sama."

Ashura, unable to form a response to that particular comment, bowed his head and shook it, helpless against his High Wizard's humour. It was true that Mahouda had taken over the position of High Wizard just before Ashura had been born, and as such had been the one to offer Ashura the most care and advice, watching over his next master. To this day, the two had a relationship that was more of a Father/Son type than King/Underling, although Mahouda would not call him anything less than 'Ashura-sama', despite the younger man's pleading. However, he had compromised by stopping calling him by the more formal title of 'Ashura-ou'.

"And that gives you the right to enchant your king into slumber? Shame on you, Mahouda." He sighed. Mahouda let out a huge guffaw of laughter, moving to Ashura's bedside to clap the king firmly on the back, ignoring the way Ashura's eyes bugged out comically at the impact.

"Of course! If you will go round casting foolhardy spells…" He began jovially, before trailing off as he saw the sudden stab of grief that entered Ashura's eyes. Ashura smiled softly, turning to face his advisor with a bitter face.

"I failed, didn't I?" He murmured softly. "I couldn't bring her back…"

Mahouda shook his head, placing a reassuring hand on Ashura's shoulder and squeezing slightly.

"Vanya would not have wished for her life to be restored at the cost of your own, Ashura-sama. She would have wanted you to live on, and enjoy life in her memory." He said softly. Ashura remained silent.

"Please, Ashura-sama. Give up on these foolish dreams, and think of your kingdom, its people. Powerful as that feather may be, it will not serve your purpose."

Ashura's head lifted sharply at those words, his breath catching as he suddenly realised that his precious find must have been lost to the rubble of the fallen Ceremonial Hall.

"It's gone, isn't it? The feather's gone…"

"No, Ashura-sama. We found it lying on top of you under the rubble…we assumed that you had used magic to attach it to your person. I sealed it in a glass ornament for you."

Gesturing to his subordinate for him to bring the ornament over from the book shelf where it had previously been resting, Mahouda glared at his king, hand on hips.

"That feather is a very powerful meld of magics, Ashura-sama…anyone with less experience in the workings of magic would surely have died attempting to use it as you did. Where in Kami's name did you get it?"

Taking the ornament with trembling hands, Ashura shook his head slightly, gazing down at the precious artefact in wonder.

"It was caught in the décor on the palace balcony…I merely came upon it by accident." He replied, eyes still fixed on the sealed feather. Inside the hollow crystalline sphere, the feather danced softly in a non existent breeze, pulsing softly with a faded pink light now that it was in Ashura's hands.

"You were very lucky then, Ashura-sama. I trust that you are well enough for myself and my helper to leave you in peace now?" Mahouda questioned. Ashura nodded absently, carefully fingering the seals of confinement etched upon the feather's glass prison.

"Go, Mahouda. I have taken up enough of your time already."

"Thankyou, my king." Mahouda bowed, then turned and swept out of the door with his assistant, leaving the king alone in his bedroom with only the feather for company.

* * *

The days passed slowly for Ashura, confined as he was to his chambers. Despite the fact that there was nothing wrong with him, the doctor insisted that he stayed in his room and rest, even going so far as to cancel any appointments scheduled. Ashura knew the real reason behind it, although he gave no sign of knowing – his subjects were terrified of losing their king before an heir was found. They had already lost their queen and unborn prince…if Ashura was lost too, they would be alone with no one to guide them. And for an ordered world like Seresu, that was unthinkable.

Pacing his room restlessly, Ashura found his eyes drawn to the glass-bound feather that stood on his shelf, watching as it twirled gently in its prison, seeming almost alive as it continued its magical ballet. Sighing, Ashura sat down on the end of his bed, gazing at the mysterious object.

"I don't know why, but just watching you makes me feel better. You're like a tranquilliser for me, did you know that?" He murmured softly, smiling as the feather pulsed a pale pink colour at his words. Leaning forward to trail a finger over the sphere, Ashura chuckled bitterly.

"You know, we're a lot alike, you and I. We're both trapped inside wretched prisons, aren't we? Although I guess I could escape if I chose to use my status to override my doctors' orders. But you can't, can you? You're just stuck inside there, probably never to be free again." Ashura continued, watching as the feather stilled in its movements, its glow fading suddenly.

"I'm sorry that I found you and used you in such a manner. I'm the reason you're sealed, hmm? Although you wouldn't know the difference between confinement and freedom, would you? You're just a feather…not a living thing. I wonder what the bird you came from looked like. It must have been beautiful, to have such gorgeous feathers as you."

The feather's dance suddenly started up again, its light shining once more as Ashura mused beside it. Smiling gently, Ashura stood up again, stretching as he felt the muscles in his back protest at the sudden movement.

"Why, the way you move in that airless prison, and the way you glow…it's almost as if you understand me, you know?" He murmured fondly, only to still as the feather's light suddenly pulsed brighter, as if agreeing with him.

Dark eyes wide, he fumbled the shelf, gripping it for support as he stared at the feather in disbelief.

"If…if you can really understand what I'm saying…then shine your light three times." He said weakly, watching for any sign that the feather had understood. There was nothing, and for a moment Ashura was sure he'd been mistaken, but then the feather suddenly pulsed with a brighter light three times before fading back into its usual glow.

Letting out a startled gasp, Ashura stumbled back, hand over mouth in shock. _The feather had actually responded_. Sure, not immediately, but it had eventually, and that was all that mattered. Trembling, he placed his hands on the glass and closed his eyes, forcing himself to calm down and delve into the whirling mists of magic held within the delicate form of the feather.

He cried out as his mind felt itself being buffeted wildly about by the powerful magics dancing around him, but forced his will on, searching down through the tumultuous power until he reached the centre. There, he found a dim sense of consciousness, and he reeled back into the real world and his body, shaking with the enormity of what he had seen.

He had never, ever encountered anything with that much power in his life. Just being surrounded by the ancient magic had threatened his very life, the force of it almost enough to tug his soul away from his body forever and lose himself in the feather's magic until all sense of self was lost.

And what he had found at the centre…Ashura marvelled as he thought about it. The feather was _aware_…not developed enough to be able to understand everything in the world around it, or respond quickly, but aware enough to get a general idea of things, to be able to react to certain things. Even if its consciousness was nowhere near as developed as a human's or an animal's, it was still sentient. And that was more than enough to make Ashura feel horribly guilty for its imprisonment.

Staring at the twirling feather before him, another thought suddenly hit the young king, and he crouched down until he was eye level with the pink mystery, eyes wide with wonder.

"You saved me back then, didn't you?" He breathed. "Back in the Ceremonial Hall…it wasn't a coincidence that they found me virtually uninjured with you on top of me…you saved me."

A stab of regret throbbed in his chest, and he sighed in shame.

"And in thanks we sealed you and your power away. I'm sorry." He apologised, smiling when the feather glowed in response. "You know, you kept me sane these last few days. I've been so lonely without Vanya…I can't say that I have any true friends in this palace…just loving subjects and helpers. Only Mahouda comes close, and he's so busy that he's almost never here…"

Staring at the feather then, an idea came to Ashura. An idea that seemed impossible at best, but nagged at him until he finally acknowledged that it could be done.

This beautiful, mysterious feather…this sentient mix of magics…surely it could be shaped into an actual person? Someone to be his friend and companion in the palace, to keep himself from dying inside. And he was sure that the feather would be better off then too, with a body to move around in and an actual mind for it to learn with and help it develop.

Ashura wondered what it would look like in human guise. Although he could shape the feather into the correct form, it would be beyond his power to actually determine what it looked like or how becoming it was. That would be left to the life force inside the feather, and how it appeared once inside a human body. But thinking about the delicate patterns and the frail form of the feather, somehow Ashura knew it would be beautiful.

Carefully picking up the glass sphere and cradling it in his arms, Ashura willed his magical staff and the necessary books to follow him, gliding after him as he silently made his way from his chambers down, not to the Ceremonial Hall this time, but to the Hall of Memories.

It felt somehow fitting that his companion's place of creation was also the place where his beloved wife's ashes had so recently been released.

* * *

**_Author's Note_**

* * *

I would just like to say one thing...I absolutely hate writing Ashura! I can't wait until I can build my fic up around his interactions with Fai, because personally I find writing Ashura as someone kind much harder than any other angsty character...I'm so used to him being portrayed as evil!

But anyway...he's coming! Our favourite mage is coming! Read and review if you want to see what happens next, please!

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**hentai-monkey** - Thank you so much for that lovely review! It made my day! And the cookies and mountain dew were delicious (wink). You got the red string reference? Good for you! And thanks for that pimping offer! (...dear god, I never thought I'd say those words...)

**anon-anon** - I'll update regularly, I promise! Or at least, I'll try to...I haven't got a very good track record when it comes to things like that.

**Yurikitsune** - What a great review! Thanks for your comments! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

**Noi **- Wow...you seemed very enthusiastic there! Thanks for the review!

**tidus2529** - Thanks! Hope this was soon enough for you!

**Ueste** - Thanks for all your lovely comments! I'm so happy that you like it!


	4. Creation

**Introduction**

In an ancient ruin in Clow, the feathers of one girl fly away, slipping through thousands of dimensions, unaffected by time or space. Some fall into the hands of evil; others accidentally manipulate the weak hearted into becoming evil themselves. Only one escapes this fate.

In an icy palace in Seresu, one king cries for the loss of his queen and unborn son, his advisors unable to comfort him. But when destiny steps in, it looks like all is not quite lost. A chance walk on a balcony will start a chain of events that no one had ever dreamed of…but when magic and mortality mix, can there ever be a happy ending?

**_For love of a feather, one man's heart will die…_**

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**Chapter Three; Creation**

Ashura's whole body thrummed with excitement as he seated himself in the Hall Of Memories, his various books spread open nearby in case he needed them during the ritual. The feather, still trapped in its glass prison, lay before him, glowing a dim pink as if it was wondering what was going on. Smiling to himself, Ashura simply shook his head. Sentient as the feather may be, it was in no way intelligent enough to 'wonder' about anything…yet.

Taking a deep breath, Ashura forced himself to calm down, diving into the blank meditative state that Mahouda had taught him so long ago. Clapping his hands together as if in prayer, his brow furrowed slightly, a cool wind gently blowing itself into existence around him.

"Help me, oh mighty gods, to bring this unfinished being to life." He intoned, keeping his eyes closed even as he reached for a small box he'd placed next to him. Blindly flipping open the lid, he scooped several grains of red powder up and threw them into the air, resisting the urge to sneeze as some settled on his nose.

"To the creator gods, and watchers of Fate, I offer you this token as a sign of my faith. Pray take this precious spice and bestow your benevolence upon I and my ritual." Ashura shivered slightly, feeling his senses begin to tingle as the air around him grew thick with magic. Hopefully this would appease any god he's angered last time in his attempts to resurrect his wife…if not, both he and the feather were in for a rough ride.

Lifting his ceremonial dagger, Ashura winced as he dragged it across his palm, creating a fine cut that spilled out blood eagerly. Dipping his fingers into the liquid and trying to ignore the sting of powder accidentally getting into the wound, Ashura reached down to draw several markings on the floor, the red characters standing out clearly against the white marble.

"I offer my blood to Izanagi and Izanami, to Rod and Rodenica. Shape this feather into a being worthy of its potential. Look kindly upon its birth and bless it, for it is your child and creation."

Picking up the glass prison, Ashura took a deep breath before throwing it as hard as he could onto the floor, watching as it smashed into hundreds of pieces. Instantly, a small whirlwind sprung up, and the feather floated up through the middle, unaffected by the buffeting winds surrounding it. There were voices whispering now, echoes of words phasing in and out of earshot. What little Ashura could hear was meaningless anyway – the words hung strangely in the air, and defied his attempts to understand them.

"Bless this feather with the light of love and beauty. Bless it with the warm heart of the Sun, the fortune of happiness and luck. May it be as bright and shining as the soul which lies at its heart, and may the gods of the sky watch over it." Ashura chanted, dark eyes never leaving the floating feather. His words meant nothing now – the ritual had been completed as soon as he had released the feather and spilled his blood. What was left was strength of will, his desire to mould this feather into a human being.

His words, although dressed up in the familiar language of magic, were nothing more than his own prayers.

"Protect this feather from harm and misfortune…watch over it, and let its light shine." Ashura pleaded, resisting the urge to jump as the feather suddenly started to glow, brighter and brighter until he could barely see. Then there was an explosion of light, and he knew no more.

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The next time Ashura opened his eyes, it was to the sight of Mahouda leaning over him. He immediately bolted upright, leaving the elderly wizard to scramble back in a rather undignified manner in order to prevent a collision.

"Mahouda! What…what…" He gasped, unable to collect his thoughts together enough to be able to formulate an appropriate response.

"What am I doing here? Well, contrary to popular belief, I'm not quite old enough yet to miss a sudden blast of magic emanating from the Hall Of Memories. Really, Ashura-sama, didn't you learn from your mistakes? And what on Seresu is that man doing here?"

"Man?" Ashura repeated fuzzily, turning to see what Mahouda was pointing at. His eyes widened at the sight, and he pushed himself unsteadily to his feet. Staggering over to the unmoving form, he collapsed back down to his knees, hands twitching with the desire to touch and explore.

"It worked. It _worked_." He breathed, eyes raking over the slender body clothed only in a loose white robe. Settling back on the pale face, Ashura reached out with a trembling hand, sliding gentle fingers wonderingly over the delicate features.

"And he's so beautiful…" Ashura was unable to resist the urge to plunge his fingers deep into the silky blonde locks that spread out around the man's head like a halo. It felt as good as it had looked. A shadow fell over the pair, and Ashura glanced up to see what had become between them and the light.

"What have you done, Ashura-sama?" Mahouda asked warily, gazing down at the newcomer. "I can't comprehend it…it's unlike anything I've seen before."

"That's because it hasn't been _done_ before, Mahouda. I've created life from a magical construct…breathed a soul into a thing that had only partial awareness before…" Ashura said softly. Mahouda's eyes went wide.

"You're not saying that's the feather? Ashura-sama, have you gone mad? You cannot play God like this!" He growled, shooting the unconscious man an uneasy glance. Ashura shrugged, fingers still combing through his creation's hair.

"And I don't intend to, Mahouda. It was just this once." He whispered. Mahouda sighed, standing up straight again and subtly tugging Ashura away from his new obsession.

"What's done is done, Ashura-sama. We'll have him moved to the room next to yours, and assign a watch. I just hope you realise what you've done." He said seriously, gesturing for the mages who had been hovering anxiously at the door to come in and take the blonde man away.

"I know you don't approve." Ashura began, gazing at Mahouda with shining dark eyes that seemed more alive than Mahouda had seen them for days. "But I had to do this. It was aware…_sentient_. I couldn't leave it trapped in that form."

"And if it was happy in that form?"

This time, Ashura had no reply.

* * *

Later that evening, the castle was shocked by the sound of screaming coming from the floor where the king's rooms were situated. An almost unearthly shrieking echoed round the stone walls of the castle, and the staff cowered as it seemed to fill every room, such was its volume.

In his study, Ashura froze, eyes widening as he heard the wailing. Carelessly dropping the documents he had been signing onto his desk, he strode from the room, practically running the short distance to his private floor. Pushing the doors to the room next to his open, Ashura was greeted by the sight of the blonde man being held down by several struggling mages, his body bucking up in an attempt to get free even as he continued to yell.

"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded furiously, unable to believe his eyes. One of the mages looked at him helplessly, shouting in order to be heard over the former feather's protests.

"We don't know, Ashura-ou! He just woke up and started screaming!" He protested.

"Then try letting him go! Set up a barrier if you feel the need, but _release_ him! No wonder he's in such a state if you're holding him down like that!"

Glancing at each other nervously, the mages did as they were asked, hastily murmuring spells of protection as they backed away. Instantly, the blonde jerked off the bed into a standing position, only to crumple instantly to the floor as if he was not used to having legs. Which was, if you thought about his origins, exactly the problem.

Ashura winced, feeling his heart tug with pity for the creature. Whilst the screaming had stopped, the blonde was still quietly keening to itself, not attempting to move again. Moving carefully towards him, Ashura crouched down next to him, placing a gentle hand on the man's arm.

"Shh…it's ok…you're fine…"

He never got any further than that. The blonde simply lashed out, shrieking as Ashura was forced to retreat. The moment Ashura was back among the other mages, however, the blonde quietened down again, hooking his arms round his knees and drawing them up to his chest so that he lay in a little ball.

"I warned you, Ashura-sama." The sudden voice behind him made the Seresuan king jump, and he whirled round to find Mahouda standing there, sad eyes watching Ashura's creation

"M…Mahouda!"

"Look at him, Ashura-sama…he is miserable in this form. He can't understand what has happened to him – even his depth of thought must be alien to him…he was only partially aware of things before. Now he has not only a strange new body to deal with, but a new mind to cope with as well."

Ashura glanced back at his creation, feeling guilt overwhelm him.

"He's terrified, isn't he?" He realised. "I can't believe what I've done…I honestly thought he'd be happier like this. Can we change him back?"

"I don't think so, Ashura-sama."

"What!"

"There is no spell I know of that would return him to his previous state. A feather, yes…but nothing more than an ordinary feather, with no awareness of the world surrounding him at all."

"Then…I have sentenced this man to eternal torture…" Ashura whispered in horror, watching in silence as Mahouda cast a sleeping spell on the blonde, allowing the mages to pick him up and move him back onto the bed. He couldn't believe what he had done…he'd been so confident that it would work, that the feather would be grateful. But all he'd done was ruin what had before been such a beautiful, precious thing.

Unable to stand another minute of it, Ashura fled the room as quickly as he could whilst still appearing dignified, suddenly anxious to be getting back on with his paperwork.

* * *

He visited the former feather every day after that, only getting as close as the blonde allowed him to. He didn't try to force himself closer, as the man would only react in fear, trying to fight him off. At night, when he lay in his bed, he only heard the sobbing that came from next door.

The feather man was wasting away, slowly but surely. With seemingly little control over his limbs still, and an acute fear of anyone getting close, he had not eaten or drunk since his creation. Which whilst unnecessary for a feather, was vital for a human. Ashura didn't even know if the blonde realised that.

His only consolation was that he'd been able to get a little closer each day, although he wasn't sure if that was the feather accepting him or its general weakening of state and inability to fight back properly anymore. He was allowed right up to the bed's edge now…he could touch him if he wanted.

But of course, he never did.

Quietly opening the door that night, Ashura slowly walked over to the bed, hesitating for a moment before sitting carefully down on the edge. The blonde made no movement, and Ashura breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he hadn't upset the other man again.

"You know, you should eat. You didn't have to as a feather, but as a human you'll die without food and drink." Ashura said softly, keeping his tone as level as possible. The blonde made no reply, and he sighed.

"Please. I know you're frightened, and you're lonely, but…I'm lonely too. I thought maybe we could be lonely together, but if you won't eat then all I have is another death on my hands. You must listen to me – if you don't eat soon, you'll die. Do you know what that means? It means you won't exist anymore. You won't be in this body, and you won't be a feather again. You'll just be gone."

The blonde still didn't say anything, and Ashura bit his lip before standing up slowly. He was about to leave when a hand suddenly shot out and grabbed his wrist, startling him. Gazing down, he saw shining blue eyes staring fearfully up at him, and he crouched back down.

"Have you changed your mind? Do you want to try eating? Is that what you want?" He asked gently. There was a moment of hesitance, and then the blonde nodded, looking unsure of whether that was the right gesture or not. Smiling, Ashura freed himself of the clinging grasp, and moved away again.

"I'll be right back." He promised. Exiting the room, he hurriedly sent word down to the kitchens requesting a small meal and jug of water. Dire as the situation was, he didn't think the blonde would be up to eating much yet.

When he returned, the former feather actually turned his head to watch him, blue eyes following him as he walks. Risking an angry response, Ashura helped the blonde into a sitting position, surprised when he received no terrified screams or swipes. Maybe they were getting somewhere after all.

"Can you eat now?" Ashura asked, a sudden sinking feeling in his stomach as he realised that the feather may actually not know how to eat. The blonde's unwavering gaze answered his question easily, and Ashura shook his head with a small smile.

"Come on then. Open wide." Ashura coaxed, opening his own mouth to show the feather what he wanted. The blonde did as asked, looking shocked when Ashura carefully began to spoon feed him the stew that had been sent up.

It was not, Ashura reflected, the same as spoon feeding his son would have felt like.

But watching the look of delight that spread across the blonde's face as he swallowed, Ashura thought it had to be pretty close.

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**_Author's Note_**

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I'm sorry minna! I tried to get this out as quickly as possible after my exams! And finally - Fai makes an entrance! I am very VERY happy about that...now this should be much easier to write! By the way, has anyone noticed that my OC, Mahouda, appeared in Memories Of When Smiles Were Real too? Just wanted to point that out. And by the way, all gods mentioned in this chapter were Japanese/Norse creator gods.

**I would also like to take this opportunity to advertise my Tsubasa Chronicles Ficathon. **It deals with all ratings/pairings/characters and worlds, and it all depends on who joins up. Fics can include canon, AU, het, gen, yaoi or yuri...it's wide open. To join up or find out more, either visit my bio and click the link to AnimeFicathon (near the top), or go to

**_http (colon slash slash) community(dot) livejournal (dot) com (slash) animeficathon (slash) 583 (dot) html_**

Sorry, the site kept screwing up the link when I posted it.

**

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**hentai-monkey** - Wow...mountain dew and chocolate. Strange combination but it was very tasty! I'm so happy you think so highly of this fic...when I first read your review I was literally bowled over. Thankyou so much for your comments, they're the sort of thing that make me wake up in the mornings itching to write.

**tidus2529** - Yup, he's a feather! And I have to admit, the more TRC manga I read, the more sure of it I get!

**Noi** - Sorry it took so long to update this time!

**Yurikitsune** - Sorry...I wasn't able to continue it soon. And insane? I think he's getting there, but not quite. He's definitely off balance emotionally right now though, so he could very easily tip over the edge. That's one of the reasons Mahouda is so worried about him.

**Ueste** - Thankyou! I was worried about that, so I'm glad that it's working!

**Zuzanny **- Here you go! One Fai order with extra cheese! (You can pick off the cheese if you don't want it)

**bloodytwistedangel** - Thanks for your review! And you actually read my bio? Wow...I feel honoured. I understand what you mean about Miaka and Tamahome...I recently removed them, I think. As for Kyo/Yuki...it may not happen, but a girl can dream!

**Demon Until Death** - After he turns back into a feather? What do you mean? If you tell me, I may be able to add to the story I've got planned out so far. (gets out notebook and pen). Thanks for your comments!


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